Occasionally, I get asked to fulfil my course requirements and write things for university. These pieces are now going to be put here on a fairly frequent basis, or as soon as they come back from marking. The first is a collum piece about living with my housemates and music. Unfortunately, I can’t find the final version of this, but here’s the draft.
I live in a house in a room below two people of fairly opposing music tastes. One, considers his idols to be the likes of Robert Smith and Morrissey wheras the other is a big fan of Johnny Craig (Emarosa, DanceGavinDance) and Craig Owens (Choidos, D.R.U.G.S.). In my room, when not playing music, I hear some interesting blends of music coming through the ceiling. I sometimes imagine the two sets of artists I hear joining forces and creating supergroups. I imagine whether they’d conquer the world or regret ever crossing paths with each other.
This week, I heard a combination I can only call Rolo ToMorrissey. Sheffield hardcore group Rolo Tomassi and 80s icon Morrissey forming an alliance. The former’s screaming female singer mixing with Morrissey’s alluring bellows.They would form a group together as if Morrissey were Marr collaborating with The Cribs or Modest Mouse but in a much heavier form. Track blends such as The Boy With The Party Wound In His Side or Shoplifters of the World, I Like Turbulencewould be released to much anticipation but I struggle to see that anticipation matched with quality music.
In a musical climate where hybrid bands of mixed genre are often welcomed with open arms, I can’t help but feel that Rolo ToMorrissey would be the kind of band that booked venues the size of a Charlie Sheen tour and got similar crowd responses. It wouldn’t be #winning, but Morrissey’s gradual decline of fame could probably be delayed due to “diversifying” his appeal.
Eventually, the band would rift over venue sizes, lyric choices and having meat based meals in their riders. Steven Patrick Morrissey would eventually leave the group leaving Eva Spence and co. to continue on their upward trajectory, slightly hindered by a failed project with the former Smiths man. The press would resume normal service, reminding us to ignore the increasing lack of genuine talent in the charts and all would be well again.